He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
