If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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