it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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