Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
