U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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