I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Randomize
