Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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