it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
