Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
