Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I cut my penus on the lid.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize