How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
