I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
