I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
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