im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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