Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I would fuck him just for his dog
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
