I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
