If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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