Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
