i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I need to sanitize my soul.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
