My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
