so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
