my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
