Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
