i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
