Apparently you make a good broom.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
