I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
