Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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