You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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