I am in a vortex of obligation.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
