i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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