Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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