why didn't you poke me back
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
