Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
