Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
