the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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