Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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