I think I died a long time ago.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
