I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
