i jhust puked up my retainher.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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