I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
