i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
