Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
