singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
