In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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