he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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