Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
