he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
