I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
