It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
