I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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