I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
