party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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