what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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