hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
