i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
