Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
