well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
