do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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