i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
well most of my day revolves around power hour
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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