"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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