I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Houston, we have a blender
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
