a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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