he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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